February now

Well, I've dropped the ball on the blog.

Lots of development. I dropped the trumpet, which I'm glad about. I got some physiotherapy help for my fiddle playing, and the fiddle progresses well. I also feel like the voice lessons are going well.

There was a sort of feeling of set-back or slow down in December, but I think that pushing through in some cases on and redirecting energy with intent in other cases has been working well. December seemed not so productive, but I achieved quite a bit of recording in January. Its still a defeating process, as recording oneself is a good way to hear your mistakes even as you try to learn the craft of recording and mixing. Its a lot, and my final set of songs might come out less than well honed, but I'm still happy with how its been going. I think its helped me realize that I really do like these songs.

Now in February, I've taken on the RPM challenge (rpmchallenge.com) to put together an album in this short month. This gives me a break from the other album project, while giving me a chance to keep practicing with some more experimental songs. With this challenge, I'm trying to use all fresh writing and tunes that I've come up with in Feb. Sure, there might be thoughts and lines that seep in from outside the month, but generally, I'm not going back into the archives to find scraps of lyrics and ideas. Rather, I'm going for fresh, which is quite an interesting challenge indeed.

In the mean time, this creative season has allowed me to venture into more things than just music, and I think that the diversity has been good. I'm into a couple big gardening/business projects in addition to planning for the Salt Spring Island Farm. I have been volunteering with Victoria Film Fest and got out to an Agricultural Show this passed weekend. Having the flexibility to take on a project when it hits you is a very cool thing. A luxury perhaps, but its an interesting thing to think about. 

a month+ in

I'm over a month in now, and it has been good. There have been challenges, but I'm very pleased with the journey I've taken.
I still feel limited sometimes from shoulder or neck pain that comes with prolonged practising- especially of the violin. I'm working on mitigating that, however, and maintain positivity. I also have had a day recently where I felt very low in motivation and focus. As long as these are the odd-days, however, I think Its acceptable. Some days, right? I take outdoor walking breaks regularly, which break up my days, keeps me mobile, and gets me outside.

Practising has definitely seen progress, and that might be the biggest source of encouragement and inspiration. Getting to the point where I can play songs on the violin and trumpet is rewarding, but also has been leading me into a rather new experience of music, because maybe for the first time I'm actually really engaging with music notation. Although I think I've considered my ear-approach to give me musical freedom, there is a kind of liberation that comes with combining reading skills. It means that a world of melodies, of the great songs, of the great writers, opens up and may begin to influence my musical sensibility.
Its work, but its exciting work, thus making for good learning.

While private practise has been going pretty well, I recognize that my socialization may not be what it could be at this point. I don't just mean being around people for its own natural positive influence on well being, but also from a developmental standpoint- collaborating with other musicians or artists. I have been getting out to listen to music or to the cinema, but I don't think that's quite enough.

I've been going back into recordings I've had on an old tablet- song ideas etc- in search of some that I might develop. It's been like going into a time machine of my mental, social, and spiritual self. Recordings dated back to 2012 (though I'm sure there's older stuff recorded elsewhere), and it is remarkable the change that one can experience in five or six years. I suppose I could describe the examination as transporting.
That said, writing has perhaps taken second fiddle to practise. I practise in my good morning hours, and give it lots of time. And why not? Like I said, it gets the payoff. Writing, however, seems more thankless, and I haven't exactly given it much more than the afternoon leftovers. I haven't gotten terribly far in building a new repertoire, especially of original material- so that might need more diligent focus this month.
Regarding goals; I've been giving this some thought. I've been maintaining a good discipline of practise, so I think its reasonable to expect substantial progress at my musicianship by the end of these months. I don't think I need to give myself a report card. As two tangible goals, however, I think I will aim to produce something recorded, and something performed near the end of this season. That, I reckon, is enough for now. Achievable, challenging, interesting.

The past month has been a really neat realisation that quality and consistent practise can really pay off. Its also fairly dreamy because its like that great part of University- the learning and producing for the passion of it - without all the concern of money and work and exams (and maybe without the terrible diet that came with that too).  This could be called balance, and its RADICAL. The fire that deadlines can put in a person might help a bit, but I have goals, and I think that they combined with interest and diligence, might just do.

I feel so grateful living this season.

M

Schedule for skills and creativity

In part, my current regiment plan. flexibility allowed. May try and adjust. 

6:00-6:50am

7:00-8:00am 

8:00-8:50am Violin

9:00-9:50 Trumpet

10-10:50 Singing

11:00-11:50 

12:00- 12:30 

12:30 lunch

1:30-4:30 songwriting

4:30- 6 repertoire 

 two music lessons on Thursdays (may interrupt schedule), and one bi-weekly on Tuesdays. 

evenings to play/experience music socially? open mic, show, or jam?

origin story

I had moved to Vancouver, was enjoying my job and had signed a lucrative contract to continue in the following year. I was living out of a van so my cost of living was low and I was proud of myself for beating the frustration of the housing market. My life outside of work was something of a mess, but I was sticking with what I knew.  

It was good. 

...If a bit boring. 

One day around springtime I pushed myself against myself to go for a run on Cypress mountain and the clay of lethargy that had been coddling my brain seemed to break and fall away. I saw a bear, and a coyote, but the real achievement was the realisation that I didn’t want to keep doing the same job next year. I thought, wow, what bravery I am showing. What a good story this will make: passing up the reasonable for the radical. Yes, this was becoming a good story. 

Little did I know how right I was. 

Almost immediately following this moment I was offered a better job than the one I was planning to quit. The new job was an exciting job, a well paid job, quite a dream job really. Passing up on this moment in my teaching career had become complex. There was no clear answer anymore. It would make a lot of good sense to take this job. But passing it up to “go with my gut” on an adventure wouldn’t be necessarily a bad choice either. 

Good stories often hang on these moments of decision: choices that are fairly binary and require giving up one good thing for another. I heard this idea recently, and I like it immensely, that the moments where not one of two decisions is better than another, we have the opportunity to reach inside ourselves and shape our own identity by choosing one. Sometimes you can look at life as a series of pseudo-choices, where really we are washed along in the current of our circumstances and common desires. Those moments, however, when your reason is truly very divided may be opportunities, I suggest, to be a co-author in ones own destiny. 

In a rare event of appeal I sent an email to friends and former colleagues, asking their advice to my conundrum and their responses were dynamic, varied and rich. 

Some argued the points in favour of keeping the job, others the opposite. I think most seesawed like I did and drew on their own experiences to relate uniquely and add wise perspectives.

Neither decision was wrong, I feel. They were both right, but in the end I passed up on the job offer. This meant that there were many things I could have done with the upcoming months, but what this space is assigned to is what I have decided to focus on from November to the end of March: Five months of music. 

I hope you’ll join me in this experiment and adventure to see what can be accomplished in 5 months of intensive personal studies, practise, and creativity. Perhaps we can learn together, and if so, perhaps this value will justify the endeavour.